Another day, another application.

There's a stereotype applied to the regular blogger: they must be unemployed.  Sadly, I fit that stereotype.  However, it is a situation that I'm trying to rectify.

But, when jobs in games journalism are so highly sought after, how do you get yourself noticed?  Well, sometimes, you just have to be a little bit more creative:

"Why hire me?  The Gamers' Guide:

Through my experience as Chief Noble of my dwarven fortress, I demonstrated considerable organisational skills.  I ensured that there was plumbing for every bedroom, that all dragons were working and operational, and that the death chambers were working efficiently enough to ensure the enforcement of my some-dwarfs-left-behind policy.

 

(Although, arguably this is what you get for building forts beneath rivers.)

Afterwards, as a Grove Street regular, I demonstrated my ability to make contacts and establishing good relationships, befriending Asian men with casinos, crazy rednecks with guns, and building a network of reliable homies across San Andreas.

(See how reliable they look?)

And, as Head of Security at Sarif Industries, I have considerable office experience, particularly with regards to breaking into them, antagonising the men in IT, and visiting the ladies restroom with disturbing regularity.  I have also attended a press conference on augmentations, although sadly I was not invited back.

(Smoking, and drinking.  Because he doesn't have enough health problems)

Finally, I would not be applying to this position without some experience of journalism.  In my previous job as an investigative reporter on the planet Hillys, I uncovered major government conspiracies, wrote concise pieces with blurry photographs, and ran an orphanage at the same time.  I also worked as a woman, alongside a pig, demonstrating the ease with which I can adapt to different roles.

(By the way Ubisoft, how's that sequel coming along?)

 

I hope I have demonstrated more than enough experience to satisfy your role requirements, and look forward to hearing from you soon."

***

Sadly, I'm unlikely to be hearing from that employer anytime soon, as the first line had a spelling mistake in.  Such is life.

In any case people, the lesson here is be original, but not too original!  And always read something over thrice, just in case.